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February 14, 2008

Comments

Bintank

I can do that for the frame with no lens because I paid over $300 for the frame the pomthchrooic lens is another $100. So guess I'm saying it must be $400, best I can do. I don't know if that works or not but just letting you know how much I have in them. Not really looking to sell but just letting you know my cost already. Thanks!

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This is a great post ! it was very informative. I look forward in reading more of your work. Also, I made sure to bookmark your website so I can come back later. I enjoyed every moment of reading it.

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I ain't a lot into comic but I think that the cover of that comic is quite good.

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Tubal Reversal Surgery

I like it! This sitting was very nicely written, and it also carries a courtyard of useful facts. I appreciated your professed way of document this post. Thanks, you have made it very easy for me to understand.

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you cld also repurpose these cards as gift tags or bomorakks. just paste plain (or patterned) paper to cover the info. punch in a fancy eyelet and put ribbon thru! voila!

Sellin

Outstanding job! Very proud of both of you ladies. Thank you for this and all fuutre editions. I'm so excited, printing everything and going to curl up in my favorite chair and maybe have a glass of wine, or 2, and read, read.

Teetee

Just to let you know Tanyetta I lost track of you for a little while bscuaee I got to tweaking my blog lines and lost ya along the way...I need to know how your little boy is doing...so always any pictures of him are just fine and dandy!!!I love to hear how you think too...so keep up the good work girl!!!I wrote a new Southern Story this morning...it just seems like some of this stuff has just been plugged up in me and is now coming out in my blog...:-D

Rebecca

Yes, most def. Penn station.. is that the same as 30th Street Station? Or surabbun station on 15th and whatever..?1. I dunno, I think YOU found my blog. 2. I dunno a week or so (but if you're the one from Temecula, then you've been visiting my blog for awhile now :-) )3. I dunno, I read blogs about anything!4. see above5. anything, haha, I don't discriminate!6. dunno... but if I hve a question, I will be sure to ask it!

Yoona

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother! I read back togruhh three months of our posts (and a little bit more) and can't figure out why I thought you were a step-mom. Sorry about that. Really, I do hate the term "step". Maybe it's because I'm someone's step-kid. Me and my dumb questions. Sorry.How about this: Don't change a thing!

Pelo

Yeah, and never mind that McCain used the lipstick on a pig' renferece when asked about Hillary Clinton's health care policy. But no, the media aren't really focusing on that, are they?I find it so interesting how the GOP is crying sexism' at the most inappropriate of times- yes, sexism is present in the media, in politics and in our culture- unfortunately, it only seems to bother them when an anti-feminist Republican is the target, which is unfortunate.Has Palin been subjected to some sexist commentary since her candidacy? Yep. But interestingly, McCain and the right wing of the GOP aren't focusing on many of those incidents (some of which are issuing from the right wing blogosphere)- instead they are playing the victim card by depicting Palin as an unfair target of the mean left and the elite liberal media in a thinly-veiled attempt to shield her from having to answer hard questions- McCain advisers have kept her speaking to friendly audiences giving her sarcastic stump-speeches delivering the same one-liners over and over, refusing (until last night) to allow her to be interviewed by the media until they treat her with deference'. Deference? Why? Is she special? I doubt that if she were a man they would be so protective or demand deference'. I find it all a bit condescending.So now they are throwing out the lipstick on a pig' smokescreen with all their faux outrage to divert attention from that horrific interview with Charlie Gibson where it became fully apparent that despite being prepped 24/7 since being selected for the ticket, she couldn't hide the fact that her social views are to the right of Bush and Cheney and she knows nothing about foreign policy, the doctrine underlying our illegal invasion of Iraq, the complex issues taking place in Pakistan, the implications of an Israeli pre-emptive attack on Iran, energy policy, etc. etc. All this from the Party running on a platform of Keeping America Safe and Vote For Us, We Love America More Than You Do . Pathetic.When the GOP starts giving a damn about violence against women, equal pay, access to birth control, economic justice, civil rights etc. then I'll perhaps start taking them seriously when they claim sexism.

Terry

Jeff, great post! I definitely didn't get the same meinnag out of the tweet that you did, at least initially. Part of the reason is that I saw an earlier tweet with the end reading because I want them to do better than I did . I can't attribute this to anyone, but I think the distinction is important. Although the word better is still problematic, I think behavior is perhaps something more manageable than say, personality or identity. Your first and last points were of more concern to me. Though I didn't see it from the over-running the student angle, I was more concerned with the concept that we might lose ourselves in our efforts to help students. I think we can often invest so much of who we are in our students that we can over-identify. Great conversation starter here. I think I'm going to go with your thought that the intention was different than it came across.

Nabilal

Speaking of McCain's sexism, Stacy, I have to quote your laetst post at CafePolitico: If McCain is afraid to let Palin stand on her own two feet (which smacks of sexism to me- do you honestly think he would keep Colin Powell or Joe Lieberman on such a short leash?) and answer justifiably hard questions off-the-cuff from an at-times hostile media, why should Americans believe she can step into the role of President of the United States in an emergency and deal with hard questions and serious threats from at-times hostile nations? That observation just knocked me over. Now why didn't Obama think of that?

Josip

I just ordered the book, and my exnepierce is rather similar to what Xenophora posted. Sometimes it takes exnepierce to have any kind of understanding at all, and I think that is why Dr. Oakley can be so accurate with no formal training in psychology. I've struggled all my life with the answers to that kind of evil, which is also woven throughout my family.I bought the book specifically because from what I can already gather, Dr.Oakley's conclusions are the same conclusions that I came to with the help of the program in ACOA. And I've read that many of them do believe that evil has its grip on them but they don't know what to do about it. My belief is that they should be viewed as having a physical illness and treated as such. When my father was forced to take psychotic meds in a rest home, I had a very short and bittersweet chance to have a somewhat normal father and daughter relationship with him for a very short time. And believe me, he was a monster, having carried out unspeakable horrors for which he was never held accountable, but he knew it and the meds helped him to control his behavior for the very first time. He died shortly thereafter and I heaved a sigh of relief with no remorse or grief over his passing, just sadness over a wasted life of someone who inflicted so much horror on others without restraint.My sisters and I are still trying to recover although we are all in our 50's and 60's and have unwittingly spawned another generation of family afflicted to various degrees with the same problems my father had.The biblical passage, "The sins of the father are passed down to the sons and daughters to the third and fourth generation" comes to mind as I ponder the problem.Let me say finally that it is my belief that many of the homeless would be off the street and more productive members of society if they were offered treatment instead of being shuffled into shelters with funds just to house, feed and clothe them and the expense of law enforcement and their victims having to deal with them. Many are dangerous or mentally ill and instead of spending on treatment to help them, society spends to have homeless shelters available to them, which doesn't do society any good, does little good for them, and puts many citizens in harm's way. There used to be programs in place for them, and few vagrants were ever encountered on the streets back then as I recall, but now the streets are teaming with them and a new victim of their violence is born every day.

Pedro

I don't know why so many people, such as SkepticalGadfly and Kipwatson above, silmpy refuse to believe that genes influence behavior. But I find it completely fascinating. Partly, that's because they'll admit genetic effects on physical characteristics, while invoking the "soul" or "free will" or "language" as the only allowable firmament of personality and behavior.I'm tempted to think these folks are protecting long-held emotional ties to cherished, untestable ideas. Along comes research linking particular genetic alleles to a psychiatric condition, and they just deny it. Kipwatson decries "the triumph of the medicalisation of matters of soul"! Oh noes! Can't they leave it alone? He or she even goes so far as to purposefully misunderstand genetics -- saying researchers claim Stalin and Mao are related, because they might've had similar genes! After noting that the book title's tie of "genes" and "evil" is rhetorical, s/he nonetheless accuses researchers of having claimed to find "the 'gene for evil'" based on "low-level brain functions"! Get that? Just one gene! So, in kipwatson's version, scientists say it's an ON/OFF relationship, and the activity of neurotransmitter receptors is silmpy unimportant poppycock!Doubtless, kipwatson has been schooled countless times about how genes often silmpy influence observable traits, or just change the probability that certain traits will appear.Reminds me of creationists, frankly. But maybe I'm wrong -- it wouldn't be the first time. Take proving a genetic influence in 1 percent of autism cases -- it's a duplication or deletion in a small part of chromosome 16. Is this something y'all will accept into your belief system? Is it just the "big" things that genes are allowed to affect, rather than the "little" ones, such as BPD?

Rhia

As one who was raised by an asvbiue NPD father who was supported in his abuse by an OCPD mother, as one who then had the living snot kicked out of her by another BPD, I am always pondering the responses of people outside the abuse to the abuser.They just don't want to believe it. It ruins their day. My father died recently and it was quite the head trip at the wake, as people kept coming up to me to offer their condolences, because I must be devastated because my father was such a wonderful man.My father was poison on two legs. But I've learned enough to know that would not go over well. He had that NPD charm and people would rather believe lies that make them feel all is as it should be and the world is a comfortable place. This is how pedophile priests and murderous heads of state can sit so comfortably in their positions of authority. The daddy figure is benign, things are okay. Everything is fine, fine, fine. Your father loves you (even while he is abusing you, you hear this) Your father loves you.Even inside a family, the manipulations go on and an abused scapegoated child is treated as defective by the rest of the family. It is a scary journey, confronting the amount of evil in the world. It is a scary personal journey to really realize how toxic the people close to you can be. Better to blame the victim, the sacrificial lamb on the altar of "We're fine. We're normal. We're a happy loving good family/church/society." You can get a whiff of it from Oakley's sister's comment in the Amazon reviews. Gee whiz, she's telling us, we were fine, we were normal, the crazy sister is the one who is writing the book."Right?Wrong.

Karol

Hi Allison: Actually, there are some good genetic stieuds related to the heritability of BPD--I mention them in "Evil Genes" (which is obviously a bit of a tongue in cheek title). There is also fairly direct evidence relating specific serotonin receptors and transporters (and their underlying genetics) to BPD, as well as indirect evidence of the relationship between dopamine receptors and BPD. Of course, these disorders depend on far more than just a few genes related to the dopamine and serotonin systems. Still, the work with BPD and psychopathy, as well as other disorders, is allowing extraordinary progress to be made in understanding why some seemingly rational actors are innately duplicitous and impossible to reason with. All of this is detailed in the book--along with some personal stories that give evidence for why and how such people can often go unnoticed until the damage is irrevocable. For Kipwatson: Oviously, Mao, Stalin, Hitler, and Milosevic weren't directly related--rather, they appeared to share some of the same personality-related genetic and neurological quirks. Similarly, schizophrenia is found worldwide. It's easy to posit that the predisposition for that schizophrenia is often due to alleles that may be common to all humans.

Panatda

I'm covinced my mtoehr has NPD, she might also have BPD. For most of my life I was manipulated and treated as a disapointment because I lived my own life and had my own opinions. She ignored e when I was a teen but when I got married she suddenly wanted to be a mtoehr.When I got married and moved away, she called me every day to try to get me to move back, I almost lost my husband because of her manipulation of me. I was such a fool, I thought she finally loves me! Luckly my hisband was a lot stronger than I was.After my father died, I believe she went totally off the deep end. During his illness she only focused on her suffering in taking care of him. And believe me my father suffered. She was more hateful to me, more vindictive than I had ever experienced and it effected me to the point that I lost all my confidence and became very depressed. I not only lost my father, but my mtoehr and my brother. ( he became the "good" one) I was so insecure I couldn't cope with people socially. ( i had always been a very outgoing fun loving person) She had me convinced that my father also hated me. She turned my brother against me. My thoughts at that time were if my own parents don't love me there must be something very wrong with me.After my father died her abuse got manic. She and my brother were constantly on me about how bad I was for moving away. I finally cut her out of my life and slowely began to heal. I have finally gotten some of my confidence back and am rebuilding my life..she now wants back in. ( on her terms, of course)However, She refuses to admit anything she did, and by her behavior I can see if I put my guard down she will pounce on what self esteem I have and try to chip away at it until I am back under her thumb begging for her love.part of me wants a relationship with my mtoehr because she is my mtoehr, and even at 42 years old I want to be loved by this woman, But in my heart I know that she is incaple of loving me or anyone else. NPD & BPD damages the children of those with it. We're unable to trust people, unable to access a situation, because our parent changed reality to suit their needs. They lie, they turn people against eachother all in order to get their own way. they are toxic to anyones sanity.The are relentless in their quest to get their own way and make you submit to their needs. It breaks down your spirit and makes you judge your own sanity.After a while it's impossible to trust your own instincts.If people have children with someone who has these disorders please do not allow them custody and only supervised visitation.The only reaosn I think I survived this woman's upbringing with some sanilty and a sense of self is that she worked and my grandmother raised me.thank you grandma.

Zulfisha

BPD is a devastating ilnelss. The results often have tragic consequences, and the one with the ilnelss comes across looking (and acting) extremely evil to those the individual "goes off" on (the snap, if you will). Usually immediate family, significant other.Those not in the loop of the few who become the targets of such goings on often don't believe what they hear about this person. They believe the person to be charming, funny, engaging, funny, innocent, interesting. They often stare in disbelief at the one who may be trying to explain a persons behavior, thinking THAT person must truly be the one who is nuts. They believe themselves to be very smart (cunning), and able to fool anyone and everyone into thinking they have glowing halos. Sadly, it most often works for a long time. Environmental, genetic, both? Don't know, don't care. Just move out of my way, because I'm getting the hell away from that individual as fast as possible.

Saori

sorry. But sometimes I have dug in the heels, so there have been peorids of up to five years when I haven't heard from her. She ignored the birth of my first son during one of these peorids, and has mostly ignored my second son in subsequent peorids, despite the fact that she is his godmother.This time I put some advertising business her way. I usually use professional agencies, but my parents said she is looking for work, and has a talent for this sort of thing. After only a couple of weeks of (intentionally) minimal contact after providing her with a brief, we have again crossed the threshold of tolerance. In all recent phone conversations she has accused me of having poor communication skills and finished by hanging up on me (yes, some irony there). I follow up with the usual strategy: emailing a grovelling apology for whatever I did to upset her (which I can rarely put my finger on), but it's only a short term fix. The more exposure to her, the quicker I seem to irritate her. The last call I made resulted in nearly ten solid minutes of loud, foul-mouthed abuse (the language gets worse with the years), then accusations via email, copied to others, that I had been unscrupulously exploiting her good nature etc. Then she walked off the job and sent some hefty bills for the unfinished work (which were paid immediately).She's now in her mid fourties, doing the same histrionics she did as a kid, but now more calculating and manipulative. It still hurts, especially since I know exactly what my motivations were in putting some business her way.The only lesson I can learn is that there's nothing you can do, so why cop the abuse? Maybe if my parents had, over the years, put their collective foot down and drew the line at certain behaviour, she may have learnt to control herself better. But I'm not sure, as she usually gets what she wants with her performances. Always the centre of attention. Always being talked about. Always feared by family members who want get-togethers to run smoothly (they never do; there's always a drama at the end, with my sister at the centre of it). There's no way she'd even consider medication or behaviour control, and I think this is because she doesn't want to give up the power that her outbursts seem to give her.Maybe if she had more responsibility in life it would help. But everything is about her. She's single, no kids, and her long term lover is a very wealthy, much older, married businessman. She can be very charming and sophisticated, and fits right in with the Yachts, Lear jets, resorts and loads of expensive Champagne. But it looks hollow to me, and I feel that she's chosen a lifestyle that suits her personality. No responsibilities, no need to ever compromise or adapt.

Tahira

knoxwhirled,I know enough about the diecfrfnees between mood disorders and personality disorders to be dangerous. Hmmmm.... so do most law makers, judges, juries, come to think of it. Personality disorders, I believe, as far as I know, are totally different from mood disorders. Although, neither seems to "ride alone". A personality disorder is who one is, not something one "has". And can you imagine someone trying to completely change who they are? We all have quirks. No one escapes scott free. Most people's "quirks" are enjoyable facets of their personalities, making them who they are.Were personality disorders easy to detect by anyone, like a bad case of acne, or obesity, or striking physical beauty for that matter, the Gary Gilmore's of the world, etc., would never be so successful in what they are "driven" to do.I sure wish I had a magic wand. br549, King of the World, has a nice ring to it, don't you think?Kidding!

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